Today’s advice is more of a confession from a recovering workaholic (who slips up now and then) than a networking tip.

I was so proud of myself over the past few months, having developed and delivered a custom networking skills training program for a new client with great success. This week I am delivering a new presentation training workshop for technical professionals for another new client that I have been working on for four years. (that’s right, 4 years!)

Throughout this intense time of content development and service delivery, I have made time to network with people and to build a pipeline of future opportunities.

I’ve got my act together (sort of)

Reflecting upon the past few months I have found myself in different stages of “togetherness.” At times, I have been focused and highly productive, super charged and full of ideas that materialize easily. At other times I have been overwhelmed with the complexity of the project. I have endured days of procrastination, welcoming any interruption to keep me from doing the hard work at hand. I have been unable to admit my situation and ask for help, even when I know people could and would help me.

I have also found myself violating the K.I.S.S. principle (keep it simple stupid) and added unnecessary complexity and depth to the work beyond the value add point. Even though I recognized this in the moment, I couldn’t stop myself from overproducing. This lengthened the process and put extra stress and pressure on me. It also robbed me of important preparation time such that I didn’t allow enough time to outsource the proof-reading and design layout of my own work. I had to do it myself. (now that’s scary)

Flawed but determined

Come hell or high water, I will make my deadline, even if I have to sacrifice my personal time and family needs. (My teenage sons are totally bummed that I can’t take them shopping with their birthday money over the school winter break). I have only myself to blame for not planning, prioritizing and executing my work more smoothly and using my time more wisely.

How to get stuff done with less stress

Here’s a dozen ideas to help motivate and sustain you in getting your work done with hopefully less stress. (note: these are not in any particular order, just as they jumped out of my brain to the page)

1. Figure out what’s important to you. Convert your To-Do list into a higher level priorities list, so you understand what’s important, not just urgent. Not all tasks are equally important.
2. Simplify your process. After breaking down the component parts of your priority project, spend some quality thinking time figuring out how to simply each step of the way. Challenge yourself and others when you are headed into scope creep or unnecessary complication of the process. Know your process and what makes it work well.
   
3. Guard your calendar. Don’t let yourself load up your working time slots with low priority meetings and events. Feel okay about telling people that you are scheduling for few weeks out.
4. Put a time limit on social media. You can become addicted to Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Before you know it, you have spent much more time on these sites just chatting away. Just like you tell your kids “homework before Facebook” you need to do the same for your work and life priorities. If you have to, use a kitchen timer. Get the kind of timer that makes a really obnoxious alarms to tell you “enough is enough.” Time to return to work. (The irony: as I was writing this networking tip, my computer kept dinging me. It was a Facebook ping from my son, who is upstairs “working.” We went back and forth a few times with messages. Crazy isn’t it. I finally closed Facebook on my browser window.)
5. Outsource whenever possible. Hire external professionals who can take some load off of you while maintain the high quality of your work product. Create a network of reliable vendors to help you with the work that is not your expertise, but is important to the overall success, such as virtual assistants, proof-readers, project managers, copywriters, bookkeepers, printers, graphic designers. They can the work faster, better and even cheaper than you can. Free yourself to focus on what you are good at. 
• I’ve personally hired Linda Pulford, business consultant and project planner, to help me get started on complex projects with great success. Check out her web site – http://www.farmingtonvalleyorganizing.com/
  
6. Ask for help. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for assistance or support. We are all human. We are all over-worked. Reach out and let people know what you need, even if it’s just some emotional support. Occasionally we all need a kick in the seat of the pants or a shoulder to cry on.
7. Go easy on the volunteering. It’s so tempting to try to be Superman or Wonder Woman and say YES to every volunteer leadership opportunity that comes your way from work or in your community. Learn to say No, Thank You. In fact, I read recently that the word No is a complete sentence. Know how to say no.
8. Get away from the computer for a while. Go analog and think through your work challenges the old fashioned way, using a pen and paper, or white board or 3M sticky notes. Or maybe a walk in the park would do you good – restore your energy, clear your head.
9. Plan shorter, more concentrated work periods. I read in one of Jim Loehr’s books (The Power of Full Engagement) that 90 minutes is the ideal focus duration. After that, our brain and body need to take a break. If you can break up your day into selective 90-minute concentrated work periods, you may find yourself more productive without the exhaustion and fewer careless mistakes.
   
10. Take excellent care of yourself, being careful to preserve and honor your energy and health. Exercise, quality rest and good food will fuel your productivity and brain power.
    
11. Drink up. Don’t allow yourself to get dehydrated or become over stimulated with caffeine (which also dehydrates you) during stressful work time. Support your body with what it needs: pure, clean water and plenty of it.
12. Have fun. Remember to laugh and enjoy yourself. Don’t let your work become an overwhelming drag. Put some play back into the work process and remind yourself why you choose this field in the first place.

 Your Networking Goal for the Week

The people in your network are resources for you. You need to tap into them when the going gets tough. They are there to help you solve problems, motivate you into action and even assist you with referrals and recommends to people you can outsource to. But they can’t help you if you don’t let them know what’s going on. So for this week, reach out and touch someone in your network and employ one or more of the above stress-buster productivity suggestions. Have a motivated and productive week!

About the writer: Kathy McAfee is known as America’s Marketing Motivator and is author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as Executive Presentation Coach and Professional Speaker, Kathy helps her clients to become the recognized leaders in their fields by mastering the art of high engagement presentations, more effective networking and personal marketing. To learn more about Kathy, visit her web site MarketingMotivator.net.  If you like this tip and want to receive free networking tips on a weekly basis, please sign up at NetworkingAhead.com

Valentine’s Day is upon us and it’s a good time to reflect upon the things that we love about our life. That includes the people, the work, the choice, the blessings, the opportunities … and the process of how it all works.

Of course, the process that I’m most interested in is the process of business networking and strategic relationship building.

According to Merriam-Webster on-line dictionary, the word “process” has a pretty cool meaning:

1. a series of actions or operations conducing to an end;
2. a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result;
3. something going on;
   • Synonyms: course, operation, procedure, proceeding
   • Antonyms: recess, recession, regress, regression, retreat, retrogression

What’s there not to like?

When I teach networking skills to business professionals, I often hear about the parts of the process that they dislike. They mention dislike for having to: talk to strangers; go to events where they don’t know anybody; give their elevator pitch; ask for referrals and introductions. It’s as if social reluctance takes all the joy out of the networking process of connecting with people.

Well, I’d like to challenge that today and encourage you to get “that loving feeling” back into the your networking process. Allow me to share some inspiration:

Twenty things that I LOVE about the process of networking:

1. I love meeting new people.
2. I love talking to strangers and creating energy and joy in the moment.
3. I love personalizing my follow-up and making people feel good knowing that I remembered them.
4. I love conducting networking experiments and seeing how quickly I can connect with people of greater influence.
5. I love attending networking events.
6. I love landing new business that resulted from a networking connection.
7. I love sitting down for coffee and getting to know more about someone new:  their business, their families, their dreams, their passions, their challenges.
8. I love sharing my knowledge and resources that help people solve their problems and move toward their goals.
9. I love brainstorming with people about new ideas (Warning: I have a hard time turning off the idea factory once you get me going)
10. I love seeking other people’s advice and getting external feedback on my ideas.
11. I love connecting with people via telephone or Skype and exchanging information and ideas.
12. I love to find old friends, former colleagues and people that I know on Linkedin and learning what they are currently up to.
13. I love realizing how small the world really is when I discover that I know people who know people that I want to meet.
14. I love learning how social media works to help us share content and and stay better connected.
15. I love teaching college students about networking and helping them find better ways to launch their careers other than trolling job boards and filling out applications in which they will be competing with hundreds of other people.
16. I love reflecting on the value chain of networking and casting my memory back to the multiple connections that helped to create a specific opportunity.
17. I love reading books and blogs about the best practices in networking, sales, marketing, business and personal development.
18. I love and appreciate the people in my network, who have taught me so much,  have opened doors of opportunity and have become my good friends.
19. I love speaking about networking at meetings, conferences and conventions. I always meet such cool, motivated people!
20. I love writing this weekly blog and sharing my networking tips and motivating energy. (I hope you love reading it too!)

So what do you love about the networking process?

There has to be something that you like and could enjoy more about the networking process. You just need to put more heart and soul into your networking. The process of networking may force you to get out of your comfort zone…and that’s a good thing. It’s good for your character development, your people skills, your career advancement and your business prospects.

Your Networking Goal for this Week:

Write down your own list of the things that you love about the process of networking and the results it has created for you. See if you can make your list longer than my list. Share your ideas on our Facebook page – Networking Ahead for Business

Tip: if your mind wanders to the dark side and you begin to think of the things you hate about the networking process, I encourage you to take those negative ideas, shrink them down and throw them away in the trashcan in your mind. It’s time to fill up your mind and body with positive, grateful and loving thoughts about your career, business and future. By embracing the process of networking with more heart and soul, you will find yourself having more fun and greater success more quickly!

About the writer: Kathy McAfee is known as America’s Marketing Motivator and is author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as Executive Presentation Coach and Professional Speaker, Kathy helps her clients to become the recognized leaders in their fields by mastering the art of high engagement presentations, more effective networking and personal marketing. To learn more about Kathy, visit her web site MarketingMotivator.net.  If you like this tip and want to receive free networking tips on a weekly basis, please sign up at NetworkingAhead.com

Last week, I shared ideas and insights on how to build a referral partner team to help grow your business and career success. In the spirit of practicing what I preach, I held a meeting with business owner and executive coach, Adrienne Milics, who I want to include in my referral partner team. We formed and stormed ideas for two hours while having coffee at Panera Bread. (networking tip: get out of the office at least once per week to network with external people)

Meeting your competition

I recall the first time that I met Adrienne Milics. It was at LIMRA International  headquarters in Windsor, CT . We were both auditioning to be accepted as instructors in their executive development program. Adrienne was showcasing her Developing Leadership Presence program and I was introducing my Powerful Presentations two-day workshop. I arrived early and was able to observe the last 10 minutes of her audition. She stayed late and observed the first segment of my audition. We had exchanged pleasantries and business cards during the break, so we had the contact information we needed to get in touch with each other afterward. (networking tip: always exchange business cards with people you meet, even competitors)

You can both win

Truth be told, we were both competing for the same opportunity. LIMRA was only going to select a few new programs and instructors to add to their offering. As it turned out we both were selected. We agreed to be each others’ understudy and to cross train in each others’ programs in case of scheduling conflicts or illness. Boy was that a fortuitous action, as Adrienne ended up filling in for me on key program commitments while I was undergoing cancer treatment last spring.

We do similar things for similar people, only differently

On the surface, Adrienne and I do very similar things. We both offer presentation training workshops and 1:1 presentation coaching to mid-size and large corporations. We both offer executive coaching services to corporate leaders and their “high potential talent.”  On the surface, you could say that we are competing for the same clients with the same kind of work.

But as we got to know each other better, we discovered wonderful nuances and differences in our work. Our background and training is very different. We have different strengths. Our personalities and styles are different. It is for these reasons that we team together so well.

In fact, Adrienne and I have co-facilitated several workshops, referred clients to each other, and even coached each other, giving constructive feedback for our own professional development and business growth.

A wonderful change in the relationship

Somewhere along the line we shifted from competitors to collaborators to referral partners. I asked Adrienne if she would give her perspective on our relationship and the subject of collaboration vs. competition. Here’s what she had to say (I bolded the bits that I found most illuminating):

 ”Getting to know Kathy and having the opportunity to work with her as a colleague over the past five years has been a rich source of learning for me. The learning has come not simply from exposure to Kathy’s excellent content and techniques for presentations and networking, but more importantly from a key realization about my own attitude toward “competition”.

When I first met Kathy, I do remember thinking of us as “competitors” in that we had some overlapping areas of expertise, particularly in the domains of executive presentation skills and communication. I found thinking of her as a competitor put me slightly on the defensive, most likely a product of years of social and business conditioning to think that in order for someone to win, someone else must lose. That of course is certainly true in many areas ranging from sports to winning contract awards.

However, as a solo-preneur without the advantage of company colleagues, I have grown to appreciate that because of our overlapping areas of expertise, Kathy and I have been able to provide back up for each other when life events have come up. We also have been able to collaborate on client programs, tapping into broader areas of our individual talents and expertise beyond our overlap areas.

What I have learned is that moving from a mindset of competition to collaboration has been a win not only for Kathy and me, both more importantly, a win for our clients, as well.”

-Adrienne Milics, MBA, PCC, Executive Coach (http://www.linkedin.com/in/adriennemilics)

Sports versus Business

Sports has trained us that someone has to win while the other loses. That’s the way we have defined the game. There can be only one team that wins the Superbowl and only one athlete that takes home the Olympic Gold per event.

But in contrast to sport, the goal in business is to create as much value for as many people as possible. Businesses also want that value to last for a long as possible, not just for the immediate moment. I believe that collaboration is a fundamental part of winning in business and in life. Do you agree?

Benefits

By adopting a collaborative mindset, you too can enjoy these benefits in business and career:

• Your sphere of influence grows when you collaborate with your industry peers versus compete with them;
• There’s enough business for everybody. If you shift your thinking from a mindset from ‘scarcity‘ to a mindset of ‘abundance‘ you will discover how to make the pie bigger for everyone;
• You grow and development more personally and professionally when you collaborate with others and learn from their experience and expertise;
• You become more valuable to your clients and your company as a skilled collaborator than as a fierce competitor;
• You can make and receive more opportunities for yourself and others when you collaborate;
• In my opinion, it’s more fun to collaborate than to compete with others.

Keep in mind that when you collaborate with others you may be developing a relationship that will become significant to you in the future, as is the case with Adrienne Milics and me. This “competitor” who you are collaborating with could be your future boss, your future hire, your future client, your future business partner, your future mentor or mentee, and your future and forever friend. Now, that’s winning!

Your Networking Goal for the Week

Make a short list of your friendly competitors. Identify individuals that you know that work for these competing firms. Reach out to say hello and schedule some time with them on the telephone or in person. Your goal is to get to know them better and explore potential synergies. Find out more about their background, their expertise, what they enjoy most in their work; what kind of clients they prefer working with (and what a dud client for them looks like). Now, share the same information about you (being careful NOT to exchange confidential information or anything that would be perceived by others as improper or illegal). Explore areas where you might be able to collaborate together and help each other. Ask yourself the question: could this person be a future referral partner for me and my business? If so, how might you go about developing that relationship?

If you are struggling with the idea of getting close to your competitors, try this exercise. Think about wearing one of two hats on your head. Hat #1 is your competitive hat. When you wear this you have a win-lose approach to doing business and you want to win. Hat #2 is your collaboration hat. When you wear this hat, you are less threatened and more open to other people’s ideas and new possibilities. You listen better. You focus on building win-win-win solutions. You are more relaxed and ready to do business in cool new ways. Which hat are you wearing right now?

About the writer: Kathy McAfee is known as America’s Marketing Motivator and is author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as Executive Presentation Coach and Professional Speaker, Kathy helps her clients to become the recognized leaders in their fields by mastering the art of high engagement presentations, more effective networking and personal marketing. To learn more about Kathy, visit her web site MarketingMotivator.net.  If you like this tip and want to receive free networking tips on a weekly basis, please sign up at NetworkingAhead.com