source: Flickr.com - Bhumi Joshi

The invitation came from a special friend in my network who also invited me to a VIP Reception of the St. Francis Hospital Foundation prior to the performance. There I met several interesting women and men whom I plan to follow up with. In addition to business opportunities, I enjoy networking for greater social good. And Maya Angelou’s key message certainty reflected that spirit.

“Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
― Dr. Maya Angelou

This was her key message and she repeated it brilliantly throughout her performance. It was a quote from her book Letter to My Daughter. Maya told us that in our lives much rain will fall; a metaphor for strife and difficult times.

She said that God gave us rainbows as a symbol of hope that better times will come. She then explained that how clouds often hang low, blocking visibility. This keeps us feeling gloomy and uncertain. She suggested that by having the rainbow IN the cloud we would be able to see the hope and have the faith that better times are soon to come. She suggested that we could do that for each other. We could be the rainbow in other people’s lives.

As she shared stories from her life, including several examples of how her Uncle Willy despite being a poor, crippled man, was able to have profound impact on other people’s lives, including hers. She told us that we all had unique lives and that no one else could live our lives because they are that unique. The humor, grace, dignity and acceptance that she exhibited as she spoke made me feel as if I was in the presence of someone as profound and powerful as Mahatma Gandhi. Indeed she is. Dr. Maya Angelou is one of our national treasures.

Give people hope when you network

When you network you have an opportunity to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud; to lift them up and to help them see new possibilities in themselves and in the world. And in doing this for others, you do it for yourself. You create your own rainbow in your own cloud.

I believe that networking is much more than just growing your business and landing new jobs. It is about making human connections and building bridges. Networking gives you a platform to bring out the best in others and in yourself. It is about extending yourself and being of service to others. It is about having the grace to accept help from people and allowing them the joy and fulfillment of knowing they helped you, even if just a little bit.

Seven things you can do to lift people up when you network

1. Listen actively. The simple act of listening to someone else gives them the feeling of importance and validation. Try not to speak while they talk. Let them have the floor. If this is hard for you, close your mouth and breathe through your nose. Listen with your ears and your eyes. Need more help with this, read my past networking tip on listening – http://networkingahead.com/networking-how-to-listen/
2. Be Fully Present. Turn off your technology when you network with other people. Give them (and you) your full undivided attention. Make them feel that they matter to you more than an incoming call.
3. Give people a little of your time. When you get requests to network, accept them. Carve out some time in your busy week to network with people who need your help and inspiration. You will also get something out of this exchange – the joy of giving.
4. Stay in touch. People in your network care about you and want to hear from you periodically. Let them know you are still alive and kicking by participating in social media and/or calling them every so often. Don’t allow yourself to go missing in action. Stay connected.
5. Acknowledge the special events in their lives. Remembering birthdays and anniversaries, celebrating promotions and accomplishments is a wonderful way to build someone up. Recognition feels good and some people really thrive on it. Saying “good job” or “way to go” doesn’t cost you anything, but it has intrinsic value to other people. We all need a little boost to our self-confidence now and then.
6. Connect them to people and resources. When people are struggling, they may not know where to turn or what resources are available to them. You don’t have to solve their problem for them, but you do them an incredible service by pointing them in the right direction. This can be as simple as sending them a link to a web site, giving them a telephone number to a hotline or telling them about an upcoming conference or event that they might benefit from attending. Of course, connecting them to other motivated people is the ultimate rainbow you can give them.
7. Be a positive person. Every cloud has a silver lining. When you network with others who are struggling, you be the one to point out the possibilities. Don’t waste your networking time with negative talk or complaints. Instead invest your energy in creating positivity for yourself and others.

 Your Networking Goal for the Week

Networking is a strategy for life and a vehicle for creating hope and inspiration for yourself and others. When you connect with others this week, visualize yourself as a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. Know that you have the power to lift someone up from the heaviness of today’s reality, if only for a moment. Try to employ one or more of the seven behaviors above when you network with others this week. Seek to refill their reservoir of inspiration and renew their faith in mankind. Make them feel important and honor them with your time, knowledge and wisdom. Feel good about yourself that you have this gift and are willing to share it with others.

“All politics is local,” said Victoria DeFrancesco Soto, a panelist at the YWCA’s opening discussion on “The Intersection of Race and Women’s Empowerment in the 21st Century.” Victoria was recently named one of the top 12 scholars in the USA by Diversity Magazine. Victoria reminded us that there is strength in numbers and also in persistence. As individuals, we need to break free of our own timidity and bring our voice and be known on issues that are important to us in our communities.To paraphrase her remarks ‘It is everyday influence by ordinary people that can create extraordinary change.’

Fighting for your values

We were honored and privileged to be addressed in person by Vice President of the United States, Mr. Joe Biden. I have never been in the same room as a President  or Vice President of the USA, so this was quite exciting. The security checks and presence of the Secret Service was half the fun.

Vice President Biden, whose daughter serves on the board of directors for YWCA Delaware, gave an impassioned appeal to all the women and men in the room to raise our voices and to fight for our values, especially as it concerns the safely and well-being of women and children in this country. In 1994, Biden played a critical role in the introduction and passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).

• Watch Joe Biden’s speech captured by CSPAN Gloria Lau, CEO of the YWCA USA introduces the Vice President. Be sure to listen to his message around time code 18:29. Is this bill working? Listen to the topline review of the results created by VAWA funding (time code 20:47)
• Learn more about the VAWA bill with this YWCA fact sheet

Time is of the essence

The VAWA is up for re authorization and recently passed the Senate by a wide margin. But it faces resistance in the House. Congress will be “marking up the bill” today – May 8th. They are likely to strip out protection for Native American women . Read more.

“We shouldn’t even be having this debate.” Biden told the YWCA. “What kind of message would we be sending to women and girls if this bill doesn’t pass?” He specifically called out the women who are virtually prisoners in their own home due to the abuse they are enduring at the hands of their spouses and partners who are battering them, One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

• Learn more about the prevalence of domestic violence in the USA

Domestic violence cuts across all socioeconomic status, races and ages. In the 1990′s, domestic violence was the “dirty little secret” that no one wanted to talk about. The VAWA bill helped to raise awareness and to break through the barriers of shame to bring much needed assistance and support to battered women everywhere.

Call to action

Biden closed his talk by quoting his father who raised him with the philosophy that “Abuse of power is the cardinal sin of all.” Biden remembers his father saying “Don’t tell me your values; show me your budget and I’ll tell you what your value.”

Biden called us to action to contact our elected officers and tell them that we support the reinstatement of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). He motivated the 400 YWCA leaders in the ballroom with the charge “You are some of the most respected and  influential people in the country. People listen to you. You are not motivated by personal gain, but by mainstream values. Don’t ever underestimate your power. You have impact.”

And so do you!

Your Networking Goal for the Week

Use your voice and rally your community to advocate for the kind of change you wish to see in the world. You have more power and influence than you know. You just need to: 1) educate yourself on the issues – get the facts; 2) have the critical conversations on the issues with people in your network; 3) listen to different view points; 4) let your values be known and communicate directly with your elected officials. (type your ZIP code to find out who your elected officials are and how you can contact them. It’s easy and quick). Don’t ever be intimated to make calls, send emails and visit with your elected officials. Remember, they work for you.

Use social media to communicate the issues and advocate for the change you feel is important. The people in your network will listen to you. They may even act on your advocacy. It can be as easy as re-posting a video or sharing a link on an important topic on your Facebook page.

You don’t have to be political to advocate for social change, but you do need to act.Your network and your sphere of influence can extend your personal reach and impact. How about exercising some of that power and influence this week?

About the writer: Kathy McAfee is known as America’s Marketing Motivator and is author of the book Networking Ahead for Business.  In her role as Executive Presentation Coach and Professional Speaker, Kathy helps her clients to become the recognized leaders in their fields by mastering the art of high engagement presentations, more effective networking and personal marketing. Kathy is a board member of YWCA Hartford Region and an active member of Soroptimist International of the Americas. To learn more about Kathy, visit her web site MarketingMotivator.net.  If you like this tip and want to receive free networking tips on a weekly basis, please sign up at NetworkingAhead.com

What amazed me about this session was the number of times the word Confidence came up. It was listed by many participants as the ONE THING that they wanted to change about their presentation style. It was discussed multiple times over the two days. It was demonstrated in the practice presentations. It was realized in the end. I walked away knowing that this course was fundamentally an exercise in confidence building – a critical ingredient in career and business success.

So what is confidence and why is it so important to us?

To understand concepts at a deeper level, I like to go to the Dictionary or the Thesaurus.

• Synonyms for the word confidence include: assurance, certainty, positiveness, spirit, boldness, self-reliance, communication, faith, trust, belief, courage and hope.
• Antonym listed was the single word: Doubt. I think that says it all.

In a seminar that I gave a few years ago at the Business Women’s Forum, I defined Competence, Confidence and Credibility and showed how your mastery of body language and vocal power could enhance all three. Watch this video and let me know if you agree with my definition of Confidence?

You’re in control

What is so wonderful about confidence is that it lies totally within your control. Other people can applaud it and build it up; or they can poop all over it and even destroy it. But they can do neither without your permission. You are truly in charge of your own thoughts. How you feel about yourselves and your abilities is the underpinning of your self-confidence.

What can you do to build up your self confidence?

We rarely have confidence in things that we are afraid of or do infrequently. Things like public speaking or sky diving, networking or negotiating. If confidence is defined as your belief that you can do something well, then it stands to reason that you can build greater confidence by doing that thing more often. Frequency might build confidence: repetition, experience and repeated success, even if very small. Facing your fears and doing it any way may serve you to not only chase away your anxiety, but may serve you by building you up to become a stronger, bolder, more self-assured person.

I know many people who lack confidence about going to networking events attended by tons of people that they don’t know. The idea of striking up a conversation with a stranger can create high levels of anxiety in some people. The same is true for picking up the telephone and talking to someone new for networking purposes.

I networked today with a woman over the telephone. She used the word “reticent” to describe her feelings about networking. By the end of our call, she was charged up and ready to go do more networking. Just like the LEGO employees, her confidence increased by the simple act of doing the thing that she feared. Practice makes more than perfect. Practice makes you more confident.

Your Networking Goal for the Week

Build your confidence in networking by increasing your connections and relationship building activity. Study up and learn from those that do networking well. Observe yourself and know when you are putting it off not because you don’t have enough time, but because you are reluctant and frightened of networking. Go take a networking skills course to help you overcome your fears, masters some new networking techniques and boost your confidence. And above all, hang out with positive people who build you up, challenge you and bring out the best in you.

Lastly, try this on. Repeat the Networking CPR mantra three times a day, every day this week:

C: I am Confident;

P: I am Prepared;

R: I am Relaxed.

I am a Motivated Networker!

About the writer: Kathy McAfee is known as America’s Marketing Motivator and is author of the book Networking Ahead for Business (Kiwi Publishing 2010). In her role as Executive Presentation Coach and Professional Speaker, Kathy helps her clients to become the recognized leaders in their fields by mastering the art of high engagement presentations, more effective networking and personal marketing. To learn more about Kathy, visit her web site MarketingMotivator.net.  If you like this tip and want to receive free networking tips on a weekly basis, please sign up at NetworkingAhead.com